How to form and sustain New Habits!

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“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” – John Dryden

Today we are talking about a very difficult topic, it is about forming new habits. Well, to be accurate it is about forming and sustaining new habits. Yet, this one thing if people know how to do it successfully it will make a whole new difference in their life. It could transform what they look like, what they earn, how they eat, how they exercise, how they spend, how they build their relationship and how they build their future.

Interesting? Lets continue. Before we begin I want you to mark important points in this book so that later it would come handy to revise, cos whatever is read once doesn’t always necessarily stay in the memory for long time.

The ice breaker to forming new habit is the very realization, the hunger to have a new habit. If that hunger isn’t there, forming a new habit would always be a dream or would be something half done. Take some time to identify that goal which is very important to you and write down what is that habit you want to start with and live with to help you achieve your goal, may be in short term or in long term. It could also be replacing an existing habit that is doing more of harm than doing good to you. Write it down. Then feel the need of doing it. Why do you want to form this habit. Your why will decide how long you are going to continue exercising your new habit. For instance for me, going for a jog is a habit I formed because I had put on huge weight and Doctor asked me to reduce it else I would be in trouble. Now, if you could see my picture I do not look that fat because I implemented my new habit. It wasnt easy, but as I made my resolve to do it I did it.

You may not restrict yourself to only one habit, if there are multiple new habits you want to form write them down but start working one at a time. Reason is if you start working on more than one habit at a time there is a chance that you may get overwhelmed and that would mean losing focus leading to a downward trail. Possibly prioritize the new habits and start with the top of the list.

Once this is clear the next step is to put it in a calendaring system. Include this habit lets say going for a jogging in the morning or writing a few pages for new book or reading a couple of chapters of a book every day, put them in your daily calendar. Allocate time to it. If morning doesnt suit put it in the evening but dont put it to do for a time when you would be exhausted after doing all other tasks. I prefer morning time.

Now, this is only half battle won. The next important thing to do is to visualize yourself doing that task every day very comfortably, with no pressure from within and externally. Sometimes people decicde to form new habits to make someone else happy. Doesnt work! If you feel good about doing something new then put it in your list. The visualization for 10 minutes of having in total control of that task has the power to activate your subconscious mind to create that ease and path when you actually do it the next day.

Initially you may consider setting alarm just to get you started. Later as you get used to it you wont need an external alarm, your internal system will trigger it for you. Till then use your mobile phone to set an alarm to wake you up for that task. Start with a fresh mind. Start small and expand. If you want to go for jogging and your goal is to ultimately run for marathon, start with a walk for a 1/2 hour or so and then gradually increment it after 2-3 days. Do it every day.

The next thing to do is to keep track of iterations. To successfully form a new habit you need a minumum of 21 iterations and a maximum of 90 iterations. The neurons would then build a solid path to make it automatic. If you miss out one day in between the counter re starts. Many people have breakdowns (Breakdown here is misisng the continuit). That is okay, do not blame yourself, call yourself a slug or get in to resistence mode. Just accept the miss and start over again. Starting over again just requires repeating what you did on the first day. No big deal! People have have successfully gone from Breakdowns to Breakthroughs just by taking that step and restarting.

Once you get the momentum, then it is almost automatic. Things start falling in place and when you master this skill you open up whole new possibilities of creating that future for yourself that which you never imagined before.

After completing the maximum iterations, you have formed a new habit. You can declare it. You can mark it off your list, spend some time enjoying the automatic flow and execution, then you could move on to the next habit in the list.

This way a path will be built in that will help you in achieving your goals one after another. This is the Secret that I share for you to have a deeply fulfilling life for yourself and for your loved ones. Good Luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to predict future?

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“Imagination is more important than knowledge” – Albert Einstein

A lot has been done to travel in time to the future or in past. Yet, the real working machine hasn’t been built yet. So, if any living being on this planet cannot travel to the future is there any way to get our mind there, see how it looks like and prepare for it?

Scientists around the world, quantum physicist point to the possibility of taking our mind in the future. One such example is of the moon landing mission way back in the 20th century. Everyone knows Lance Armstrong and Aldrin who set their foot on the moon, however very few people know what really went in to make this mission possible. At that time rarely someone would have thought of putting the human race on moon. In fact they also took a monkey, but that was a fact that it was hard to imagine landing on moon. How did NASA and its scientist think of getting there?

What they did was going in to the future to predict how it would feel like to be on moon, its atmosphere, what would be the  force exerted on its surface similar to gravitational force exerted on earth, would there be oxygen. Lance Armstrong once shared that there were only 2 questions they were working on while planning the mission. One is how to get there and the second is once we get there how to get out safely.

The future prediction seems impossible to us and what we think of future is an excerpt of the past. For e.g. if you have to imagine how would the world look like 20 years from now. One would still imagine cars plying with more speed, more automated, population would have grown 10 times, scarcity of resources, man would have built colonies on moon or possibly on Mars, a few more billionaires would be added to the list and a few would be deleted. This is the picture people would have, could a bit rosy for some a bit gloomy for others. However, one element in all these predictions of the future that is common is an element of past. In this example there is an underlying assumption that cars would continue to be there because they have been for several decades now, people would go to moon in large numbers since someone has already gone there, Voyager has reached Mars, so there is also the possibility to reach there and population has always been growing.

If the people who designed the moon landing mission would have thought this way they would have only thought of making better airplanes, may be super-sonic planes to travel faster. If Edison wouldn’t have imagined how it would be have electric bulb we wouldn’t have lived the way we are living now.

So, how did these people predict something that is totally different from the past?

It is the prediction of future model. The secret of predicting future almost accurately is in seeing it from the future, by being in to the future, taking our mind off the history and imagining a totally new possibility.

How to imagine something that doesn’t exist?

The first step is accepting that it is possible to create something that doesn’t exist today however it doesn’t mean it cannot be created. This universe has hidden infinite creations that haven’t been unfolded yet. Even if every person thinks of something new, still he cannot cover the infinite possible new creations. So the scope of future creativity is huge. It is like pumping out water from the ocean, the ocean will never run dry.

The second step is letting go of past inhibiting or limiting thoughts. If a person has been earning 1000$ a month, he is habituated to think that he could max go up to 5000$ a month, he could hardly think of himself earning in the future 100,000$ a month. It would seem unreal to him because there is a blueprint he has in his mind about himself that is stopping him from stretching in thinking and hence in action. To stop this inhibiting pattern consciously think of thoughts that come from the universal source that is infinite. I always make a point to stretch my arms facing the ocean to receive the divine infinite wisdom from it since the ocean is a symbol of infinite source.

The third step is to meditate. This is the single most powerful state to practice. Meditation is looking within to find the infinite source of information and energy. Our Neuro thoughts can reach till the surface of moon (it has been proven scientifically). There’s sea wisdom within our mind that we need to tap in. Meditation facilitates this tapping. Once people practice meditation regularly with focus, they get what we call intuitions and these intuitions are ideas that could be coming from the future. They seem unreal, they seem not in line with the present circumstances, yet they are potentially the future creations. Has it happened with you that you had a real great day and you were holding some desire in mind to happen in future and you put yourself in happy state and suddenly some idea strikes your mind? This is coming from the future. It isn’t common though to receive these ideas because there is a mental barrier of rational thinking (which by the way is good, however needs to be let loose sometimes). This barrier has to be impregnated to reach out to the future. When you receive ideas keep a pen and a diary ready to note it since human brain cannot retain any idea which is not recorded over ~27 seconds.

The last step is to act on the intuition. This requires trusting your idea, and working on it. Initially you would do something about it but within a space of doubt. This doesn’t work. Doubt hampers the creation. Faith clears it. Take a few every day steps to work on your idea of the future. Create a simulator to transform your idea in to current reality.  

Our brain has pre mapped Neuro paths that make us habitual, we use the same hand to brush our teeth or tie the show lace. Similarly our Neuro path related to creating something new hasn’t been created and to create it follow the above 4 steps every day and experience the difference.

How to Persevere?

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Perseverance is an art of continuing to pursue goal in the face of obstacles. It is a skill that very few master. Hence those few accomplish all their goals. They move from those 95% to 5% population who is largely successful in their career and business.

 

Whenever a person is working on his goals he is bound to face obstacles, a lot of rejections, doubts. When Col. Saunders realized at age of 60 that his Government pension could hardly take care of him, he had no option but to look for ways earn money to meet his daily needs. At that age it is like starting from 0. He knew great chicken recipes and wanted people to use his recipes to cook chicken, sell the chicken dish and give him royalty. He went from door to door selling his business. Every time he knocked and presented the opportunity, he got a big NO. He knocked over 900 doors before the first one said YES, then a few more No and a couple of Yes. People started cooking his recipes and selling the fried chicken. People started loving the taste of fried chicken and as people started making some money by selling the FRIED chicken, Col, Saunders started receiving more YES. His business started growing and soon he became one of the wealthiest people of his town. Now, KFC is having over 10 Billion $ net worth and over 10,000 retail outlets over the world. What would have happened if Col. Saunders would have given up after a couple of No’s.? He would have continued to live on meager pension and struggled making ends meet. Instead he persevered in the face of obstacles and kept going. Most people BREAKDOWN in a couple of NO’s and looks for easier means to make a living, but they can only make a living which will never create a real fortune for the rest of their life.

 

How does a person acquire this unique and highly rewarding quality of perseverance?

 

Well, though it’s not easy what you are going to read further, if you apply it in your daily life things will start to change if you seriously start using the principles. Your commitment will create that difference to take you to the next level.

Step1.

Accept your current state. That is you might have tried certain things and it didn’t work out. It’s okay to fail but not okay to give up. Accept the failure and consider it as a stepping stone towards your success. Think of it like this, every failure is taking you closer to your success. Why, because you learn from your failure and change. You change your direction or you make a new choice. Do not resist failure and do not resist your current state which is a state of trying to play safe.

Step2.

Once you are in harmony of your mental state, you know what you aren’t good at then take this step. In this step, you would need to look at your goal and break it down to baby steps, something you could do every day and move closer towards your goal. For e.g. if your goal is to open a new restaurant, write down tasks that you will need to do to get ready for starting a restaurant. Create a mind map. The mind map will give all the steps you need to take to start a restaurant. While you are taking actions use affirmations every day along with visualization as if you have already achieved your goal. Feel how it feels to accomplish your goal. This feeling will create that Bridge to crossover. You might get some inspired idea or a friend might come forward to help you or you may get a partner or a financer.

Step3.

Reorganize your efforts. It is like constructing a house. First, the place, the plan, the architect, the foundation, the plinth and then the rest of the building. Similarly, your actions have to be organized in sequence to build the restaurant. If you get stuck somewhere at a step ask for help. Consider your options. Avoid doing too many tasks at one time. It will get you exhausted plus it will stop the creative flow. You must feel good while executing your daily tasks.

Step4.

Use the NEXT principle. If you are selling a product and a prospect you approach says NO, go to next person. There are over 6 Billion people on this planet. If you are building a hotel and the architect gives a high priced quotation for his service, go to the next architect. In any city there are over 1000 actively operating architects. Give an add in newspaper. You will soon have choice to make. You could also drive the deal with quoting your limit price you can offer.

Step5.

Habituate. This is the single most powerful state. Habits are formed. Give up old habits of getting up late in the morning for instance. Start with small, get up 15 minutes early every day and then increment it to 1 hour slowly. Do this consistently for 21-30 days and you would have a new habit. Once you do this for 91 days you have mastered this habit, now your subconscious mind would do it automatically. You do not have to push yourself.

When I realized that I was drinking 4-5 cups of coffee/tea every single day which was causing headache, acidity and making me dependent of it to be creative, I formed a new habit. I started drinking green tea and cut it down to twice a day. Replacing old habit with healthier one and something you would enjoy is the key. As I did this over 21 days, now I do not get the craving for having tea/coffee when I have to start doing something creative. I happened to visit a café coffee day as my daughter wanted to have cold coffee. It is very tempting to have coffee in CCD and plus you could sit in CCD for hours. I did not feel the push internally even after smelling the aroma of coffee to have it and it wasn’t a feeling of compromising at all.

So from my experience I can suggest that it works. Just do it consistently.

 

Step6.

Focus. There will be days when you would have other priorities. Focus on your goals. Keep some time aside, usually the best time would be morning if you are morning person when your creative flow is highest. Focus on your goal will go a long way to persevere.

Step7.

Accomplish. Once you do all 6 steps you will surely close in on your goal, no matter how BIG it is. Once you accomplish it (till then just shut up and do your work, do not gossip) your goal, you have mastered the art of Perseverance,

One more factor you will need to consider is to STOP being a Perfectionist. Perfection comes with focusing each day on improvements. It only means don’t give up until you make it what it is supposed to be. If you are writing a Book and you wanted to make it the best seller, you won’t have the perfect script every time. There will be days when you would really run Dry on ideas and words. What do you do then? Do you stop writing or give up? No, just pen down whatever ideas you get and then review it later. During the review you are going to catch imperfections and correct it.

Now, you can set yourself up for HIGHER Goals to accomplish. GOOD LUCK and BE HAPPY.

From Cloud9 to Pitfall.

Why does success takes people to cloud 9 and failure to a pitfall? Success empowers people while failure  makes them doubtful. What is this universal law? The law we now understand and the secret unfolds.
Our behaviors are shaped in the teens somewhere around the age of 12 to 16. Beliefs, attitude are formed around this age span. These beliefs stay with the person until he exits this world. It doesn’t mean these beliefs will dominate his life, however in a given situation he will tend to lean in towards these beliefs. He can tailor his response though. During this teen age when we live with our parents there is a unique response given by family, our parents, our friends, our relatives, our teachers to success and to failures. Success for instance is rewarded with hug, a pat, making that person feel special, reward while failures are responded with ignoring the person, taunts, making person feel embarrassed, sarcasm, insecure, deprivation. Mind picks up these response especially the negative ones and stores a natural response to such judgemental outcomes. These responses then get repeated with each such instance. The brain wires response. Hencelater when the person grows young, middle aged and old and faces judgemental circumstances his response comes instantly. Hence a person who feels great on getting high scores or solving complex problem or meeting sales target is also likely to feel humiliated, doubtful, low, self critical. Hence the good feeling or bad feeling never stay Permanent.
The good news is that a person can exit this viscous cycle. How? By being in a state of awareness. It isn’t simple though to attain. Only rigorous practice will put the mind in this state and rewire brain. How to achieve this state of balance?
1. Be aware that each outcome is just another event.
2. Truly believe that it is the contribution that matters, not the outcome.
3. Always focus on what can be learnt during the event or from the event.
4. Life is a string of events, our role is to participate.
5. If the outcome of an event is good consider that god wants us to move on from here to do something different or new.
6. If the outcome isn’t so good, thank the universe for giving an opportunity to learn. It only means one is on the right track, he just needs to expand his awareness. People immediately link the outcome to their goals. No outcome is permanent, such that it impacts goals. Failure is one step closer to success. Do not lose focus on goal.
7. Ccontinue working on the goal. Never abandon goal. Just before monsoon many clouds try to pour but the wind drives them off, their perseverance one day brings rain . Keep doing work in faith, rainy showers will arrive.